“You are a cool breeze on a calm sea.” He wrote that on the last page of a paper I’d written for the class he taught. There was an “A” in red ink, which pleased me not half as much as being compared to a summer’s day. I was fifteen, just coming into focus. I reminded him of himself, he said, and when he asked me to meet him at the football field on a Saturday afternoon I didn’t hesitate. He drove me to his apartment, told me to take my clothes off in a way that made me uncomfortable. But I liked having a secret.
Later, much later, he told me he had a boyfriend, someone he loved. He’d die if anything ever happened to him, if he were to find out what we did on Saturday afternoons. So it stopped as abruptly as a needle being lifted from a record.
What stuck with me wasn’t the rape, as my therapist insisted I call it, it was the power of words to seduce, to shatter.