"You're good."

I’m a training paramedic/EMS. My mentor is very quick to give criticism but hardly ever gives praise/positive feedback.

I have been in training for nearly a year now. On multiple occasions, he has given constructive criticism on a case where I knew I had done well, but never gave praise.

One day, out of the blue, we were talking about my work and how I was about to start with a different mentor. He turned and said, “You’ll be alright with them; you’re good.”

To an outsider, ‘good’ might seem mediocre but, to me, I was so happy. He is a very reserved person who doesn’t praise other trainees either. That day I smiled my whole journey home.

"...he is worth more than you are.”

When I started my big corporate media job, I was so excited to show off my creative skills for a huge audience. A few months into the job, I was pretty much killing it and receiving great feedback along with my male counterpart, M, of the same job title. 

Yearly reviews came around and I cooly asked M if he’d feel comfortable telling me his salary so I could get a sense of how I should negotiate a well-deserved raise. He cautiously gave me an inexact roundabout number around his yearly compensation and my jaw hit the floor. M was making about $50k more than I was for the same work, same amount of experience, same job title, and same amount of time at the company. I was enraged.

I took my concern to the head of the department, who fairly heard me out, but ended our conversation with, “It is perceived that M is worth more than you are.”

Luckily, HR did not agree with my sexist boss.

"Very few people impress me..."

During my first busy night as a server, my cook told me that he didn't think I could handle the bad section, much less the good. I calmly tried to assure him that I'm great at my job, and that if he didn't agree then he should send me home.

This convinced him to give me the busy section, and I quickly got slammed. I was working really hard and handling it well, but as a server people seldom notice the extra effort you put in. I was doubting myself, I was nervous, and I was starting to worry that the cook was right, that I couldn't handle it. 

Then a very beautiful woman who I had been serving handed me $10 and a note that read, "Very few people impress me, but you've done just that. Thank you for your AMAZING service." 

I lost the note in the chaos before I got to take a picture of it, but I want her to know how much that meant to me. I would love to find her. She gave me confidence to do my job and the realization that I really can do anything I put my mind to, even if it's serving 12 tables at once all across the restaurant. That woman made my night and possibly my career. 

Thank you, kind stranger. Your words are forever in my mind and heart. You've made a young lady feel very happy, warm, and above all, appreciated and confident. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

Much love, 

Your Waffle House server.

"Thank you for all you do!"

A few years ago, I landed my dream job, but it wasn't what I thought it would be. My supervisor always demoralized me. Nothing I ever did was efficient enough or even warranted a passing "thank you." I was constantly criticized and told that I needed to be better. I felt so dejected by the end of the year. I was stressed, anxious, and couldn't sleep at night because my dream job was turning into a nightmare. 

At the end of the year, I quit and got hired for a different position under a new supervisor. A very kindly, warm person that actually made me feel like a human being. 

This new supervisor randomly sent me a note that said: "Thank you for all you do!" I realized that I HAD found my dream job, and that I had always been pretty good at it. For me, it wasn't the wrong job; it was just the wrong supervisor. 

 

"Why did she get in the car with him?!"

I had a summer internship in college at a summer camp. The boss was terrible to work for and always felt off, and a news story eventually revealed him to be a pervert who had groomed, molested, and raped one of the campers, a 14-year-old girl. He had given her a ride home one day, but instead of taking her home, brought her back to his place where he sexually assaulted her. 

I told my mom about it and her immediate reaction was, "Why did she get in the car with him?!"

This reaction irreversibly changed the way I saw my mother: as the kind of woman who would blame a 14-year-old girl for being raped. 

To this day she still does not understand why I don't want to put that internship on my resume.
 

Girls Like Me

The night I was raped, my rapist told me, "To girls like you, no means yes."

This has stuck with me, because in a way its true. But not the way he meant it. 

Every time a teacher told me I wasn't smart enough, I studied harder and longer so I could tell her, "Yes I am."

When I was told I would never advance at work, I improved my numbers to prove to my boss that, "Yes I could."

So I guess he was right.
To girls like me, no means yes.