"Lazy and useless."

My mother, siblings and I were looking over my report card. I had finally gotten all A's and made the high honor roll! I was ecstatic, and I happily told my mom how proud I was of myself. 

Her reply? "Finally. Seems like that's the only thing you're good for."

I told her that I thought I was a pretty good person, and I listed all the things about myself that I was proud of. 

"Yeah, but you still don't pay any bills and you do nothing for the family," she said. "That makes you lazy and useless." 

I was 14 then. I recently graduated from college, and on my graduation day, that was what kept buzzing around in my head. Lazy and useless. I'm the first in my family to graduate from college. But I still feel lazy and useless. 

"You're acting like such a bitch."

A few years ago, my mom and I were fighting yet again. As she stormed out of the room, she said, "You're acting like such a bitch." 

I'd never been called something so hateful in my life, not even jokingly. I was too shocked to cry. The person who I loved more than anything thought I was a bitch. 

Now we're best friends and curse each other out occasionally as a joke, but I will never forget that moment.

"It's rude, inconsiderate, and obnoxious."

"Don't do that. People will judge." - My mom, sparking a lifetime of doubt and anxiety.

"Don't ever invite yourself to people's houses. It's rude, inconsiderate, and obnoxious." - My dad, causing me to constantly be afraid of accidentally inviting myself among friends, and thinking that being obnoxious is the worst social crime I could commit.

"I think you're just bored." - My mom, brushing aside an actually harmful addiction I had in high school, because it might hurt her reputation.

"Hey, I was a jerk before. I just wanted to apologize." - A bully from middle school apologizing to me in high school out of the blue, helping me keep faith that there's always good in humanity.

"You'd be a knockout if you just dropped 25 pounds."

When I was in high school, I was never really skinny or popular. I was a band geek who played the sousaphone, did shot put, and discussed homework. I usually kept to myself and life was good.

I remember being at home just kind of lounging, my homework was done and dinner was being made. My mom, dad, two older brothers and I sat down at the table to eat. I love food, so I went to grab a second helping, but my dad stopped me. He said, "Sweetie, you know, you'd be a knockout if you just dropped 25 pounds."

I wasn't a huge individual, I was around 145 at the time and I was roughly 5'6"-5'7". I thought I was fine, but apparently I wasn't according to my father. 

He isn't a bad dad or person, he just goes about saying things like that the wrong way. I love my dad, but that statement has stuck with me for years. I was about 16-17 when this took place, and I'm now 29.

"It's not your fault that you're self-centered."

My mother has said plenty of hurtful things to me, but the thing she says most is that I'm selfish. This hurts because I try so hard to respect my parents and not to ask too much of them. 

One day my mom and I were having a talk, and this topic came up. I finally stood up for myself. I outlined exactly why it hurt me when she said that, and I asked her to try to be more conscious of what she says in that regard. Her reply was only:

"Oh honey, you can't help it. All young people are selfish. It's not your fault that you're self-centered."

She didn't apologize, and she never will. It made me realize that I'll never be able to change her mind, and she'll always just see me as a selfish brat who will never appreciate what she does for me.

"It is always the woman's fault."

When I was entering puberty, a man brutalized me. When I told my mother, she said that I'd better get used to it, because in our society, "anytime there's a disagreement between a man and a woman, it is always the woman's fault." 

She listed examples like rape and domestic violence, and literally told me, "the faster you get used to it, the better." I argued with her, but she told me to pay attention every time there was a serious issue in people's relationships to see how it turned out. 

I hung on to her words and swore to myself that I'd find a situation in which this wasn't true, and show her that the world isn't that dark.

I'm nearly 30 now. I'm a domestic abuse survivor from an ex, and I've been raped multiple times in my life. Recovering led to me specializing in rape and domestic violence as a health care professional, thus I see a lot of serious cases and am involved in many court battles. 

To this day, I'm still waiting for that one example when it isn't socially deemed the woman's fault so I can tell my mother that she was wrong.

"I think she'll love it."

My cousin Traci is a transgender girl who has been ostracized by many of her immediate family members. 

One day, my 95-year-old great grandma and I were shopping at the pharmacy. We were in the card aisle and she said, "I forgot to get Traci a card for her birthday!" 

She walked right over to the "female cards" and picked out the pinkest, frilliest card possible. She handed it to me and said, "Well that's perfect! I think she'll love it." 

My great grandma is so much more understanding than Traci's parents are, and this interaction made me tear up a bit.

I love my great grandma.

"No big deal."

I've been sexually assaulted multiple times in my life, but I've only come forward one time. The first time. When I was 13.

I was sexually assaulted at a party by a neighbor's friend. I was so afraid to tell anyone, and kept quiet for two months, until I finally wrote to a close friend about it. My friend accidentally dropped the note it in the hallway and it was discovered by the school social worker. 

The social worker called me into her office, confronted me, and called my mom. My mom told my dad, who told my stepmom.

My mother told me that she'd "been through worse" and that it was "no big deal" and that I "could've ruined his life." 

My stepmother told me "it's all right because we all think he's gay" and "he didn't mean anything by it." 

And what did my father say? Absolutely nothing. 

Because of this, I've stopped coming forward. 

I haven't been able to get my parents' words out of my head, and it's been almost a year and a half.

"You lead older men on."

When I was 15, I was stalked, molested, and sexually assaulted by a 46 year old man who my parents were good friends with.

I tried to keep everything hush hush because it was humiliating, but my parents found out and confronted me about it. My father was sobbing and trying to understand what happened. My mother was furious and drilled me with questions. 

The whole scene ended with my dad and me sobbing together while my mom yelled, "I never thought my 15 year old daughter would be a whore. You lead older men on. On purpose!" 

To this day, I struggle to have a relationship with her. It is swept under the rug. We don't speak of it. 

I will always feel betrayed.

"Maybe this is why your father left you."

I was sexually harassed once by a guy I had been hanging out with. He began asking and forcing me to do these terrible things. When I refused, he said, "Maybe this is why your father left you.

The guy is a well-known musician.