Those two words are the worst two I've ever heard.
They came after being used for two years by a man I envisioned building a family with. I was completely blindsided. He never loved me. He never wanted me. He never planned a future with me, and for the life of me, I couldn't wash away the stain of his infidelity. Or mine. I couldn't wash away his touch or his children or his wife.
Every time our daughter cries, I hear him say, "I'm married."
The first of many choice things your grandmother had to say to me after finding your note and your body.
We were together for three years and I loved you as much as my body and soul could. I poured every bit of who I am into out relationship because it was the best damn thing that I had. I had plans to spend my life with you.
You left me a note specifically for me and me alone. So you can only imagine what kind of things your family had to say about me.
We just recently moved past this, but I don't think your grandmother will ever understand how much that affected me.
Because for the longest time, I truly believed that it was my fault.
Has anyone ever made a fleeting comment about you that immediately became tattooed onto the front of your brain for all of eternity, impacting your self-perception and self-worth? Whether it was an offhand comment made by someone you love and respect or a fleeting declaration by someone you barely know, we share the moments that stick.
