One day in high school I was standing around with a bunch of other freshman girls. A boy came over and tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Hey my friend wants to talk to you,” and pointed at a group of boys sitting farther off, pretending not to be paying attention. Before I could respond, another girl in our group said, “If he wants to talk to me, he can come over here.” The boy looked at me once more and then walked off, confused. 

Garnering up what little confidence I had in myself at that age, I said, “I’m pretty sure he was talking to me, actually.” All my friend did was laugh. And once she started laughing, all the other girls started laughing too, like I’d said the funniest thing in the world. 

So it wasn’t a particular comment that’s stuck with me all these years, just the sound of their laughter. 

I realized a long time ago that the whole situation spoke to their own lack of self-esteem instead of mine.