"Your feelings are completely valid."

"Did your dad ever tell you to play a different instrument?"

He said it casually, glancing at the large double bass resting like a faithful bloodhound beneath my feet. 

I was so shocked and irritated that I had no reply. Why do I need to play a different instrument? Why do I need my dad's approval? 

What stuck with me wasn't just what he said. It was what my dad, my then-boyfriend, and his father said to me. 

"You're overreacting." 

"He's just trying to be friendly." 

"It's not that big a deal." 

Anytime I mentioned in front of that boyfriend, he would get angry and say, "You're still upset about that? Just let it go." I stopped talking about it with him. I stopped mentioning it to anyone, but the comment lingered in the back of my brain every time I went out to a gig with my bass.

What also stuck with me was the complete relief when I finally felt safe enough to bring it up with one of my professors. When she heard it, all she said was, "Your feelings are completely valid. What that man said was wrong, and he shouldn't have said it." 

There was no argument. No trying to explain. Just complete acceptance and understanding.