"I didn't want to die alone."

When my ex got out of a long relationship and started dating me, he found himself in a hard place. At the time, he truly believed he was dying of an STD. He told me he wanted to marry me, have a family, the whole nine. 

When I actually wound up unintentionally pregnant, he broke up with me. 

Many months later I asked him why he would say he wanted to marry me, have a family and a home if he didn't actually mean it. 

He responded with, "I thought I was dying, and I didn't want to die alone." 

After all this time, I've healed. I have a beautiful child that I adore with everything in me, and I am thankful every day for my small babe. 

However, that one line has stuck with me. It is the only thing I haven't let go of because it is such a cruel and powerful sentence.
 

"No one is ever going to want you."

Being a size 6, I've never thought I was fat, I just knew I wasn't a size 00, which was fine with me. 

But my ex loved to say things like, "How can you still be hungry?" or, "Do you really need to eat that?" or, "Eat up fatty." I had always laughed it off and convinced myself he was joking.

It wasn't until one night that it really got to me. We were eating out and he refused to let me order dessert. He looked at me and said, "You need to stop with the food. If you keep it up, no one is ever going to want you. I don't date fat girls."

Looking back on it, I'm not sure why I stayed with someone so critical and hateful. Maybe it was the feeling that I needed to be accepted by him to validate my worth. 

It wasn't until months later, after I had worked out and starved myself to exhaustion that I realized he was fighting a battle with himself all along, and that there was never anything wrong with me.

Years later, I'm now with a man who tells me every day how beautiful "every inch of me" is. He's convinced I've never had enough to eat, and he always, always says yes when I want to order dessert.
 

"Whale of a woman in the humongous dress."

I've always had self image issues, but now I am married to a wonderful man who loves every inch of me exactly how it is. I've always worn jeans and big t-shirts and sweatshirts to cover up my imperfections, and also to just feel comfortable.

My husband recently very gently suggested that because I'm getting older and working, that maybe I should start dressing more professionally and wearing dresses. 

So I took him shopping with me. We had a great time, which I had never experienced while clothes shopping previously. When I tried on a dress, his jaw hit the floor. He absolutely loved it! He raved about how beautiful I was. I felt on top of the world. So much so I wanted to show myself off.

So that night, we got all dressed up and went out on the town. As we sat down to eat, I felt like everyone was staring at me. I was so uncomfortable. I excused myself and went into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, and a wave of insecurity swept over me. I went into the stall and tried to breath through the urge to cry. 

Then three very beautiful, stuck up women walked into the bathroom. Naturally, I made no noise waiting for them to leave. 

They began talking about an "ugly whale of a woman in the humongous dress." 

"The guy is so cute," one of them said. "Why the f*** is he with her?" 

The others agreed and giggled. By the time they left, I was a balling mess. I left the bathroom then the restaurant with no explanation to my husband. 

Sometime later I told him about what happened. Of course he was as supportive as he could be. But I never wore that dress or any other since then. 

I have slowly worked on my self image and it has improved (most days anyway). I've started to dress more professionally, but for some reason I just can't bring myself over that last hill of actually wearing a dress again, although I've purchased many. Maybe some day I will get over those mean girl comments. 

But I still teach my children, and all who will listen, to be accepting of all people no matter what.

"It shouldn't be you."

On my wedding day I was getting myself and my soon to be stepdaughter ready. My mother stopped on her way to the venue to check in on how I was doing. 

She fixed my dress, looked me square in the eye and said, "It shouldn't be you today. It should be your sister."

Six years later, I still can't forgive her.

"No one will ever love you."

When I broke up with my ex, he told me no one would ever love me. 

Married and 3 kids later, I still sometimes question why my husband loves me.

They are my legs.

All my life, I've had bigger legs. I've always been self conscious of them, but I've tried not to let it get to me. I acted like I didn't care what people thought, and wore what was "in style," like short shorts. 

When I was 15, I had a huge crush on a boy, and I knew his feelings were mutual. We hung out alone a couple times, but I would never kiss him like he always wanted. 

He always teased me and compared me to another girl he used to date, saying that she wouldn't have a problem kissing him and that she wasn't so shy.

He also told me my legs weren't much to brag about.  

That little comment stuck in the back of my mind for years. 

I didn't want to wear average swimming bottoms anymore. I didn't want to wear shorter shorts anymore. There was a few years where I HATED my legs. I was so ashamed. And no matter how much I worked out, they never seemed to shrink.
 
I'm married now to a wonderful man (who loves my legs, I might add). Even though they aren't supermodel legs. He tells me they are beautiful and strong. 

You know what? They are. 

I started really getting into fitness, and my legs have actually grown! And I'm not ashamed. They are my legs, and I'm lucky to have them.