I had a huge crush on a guy in 8th grade, and was devastated when he started going out with this girl I hated.
I came home crying about it, and my mom just said, "Did you really think he would have picked you over her?"
She said this because he was white, I was black, and the other girl was white. It was like I never had a chance because of that.
To this day, I still have doubts about myself when I find a white guy attractive.
Four years ago, I was in a car accident. I went unconscious, and a stranger pulled me out of the car and set me on the curb.
For a split second, before becoming unconscious again, I awoke to hear him tell me, "You're safe."
I will never forget that man.
It was Indian Summer on the coast five years ago. I was in my boyfriend's room, sprawled on his bed, twisting his hair. He was pouring his heart out to me, telling me why he loved me so much.
I have genetic health problems that leave me in pain and incapable of doing all the things we once did together. Our weekend hikes and our sunny days spent combing the beach for hours, searching for the best shells and rocks had diminished. Our time together was spent indoors, doing low impact activities, like watching movie after movie or drawing together. It affected my self-esteem and sense of worth, but also made me feel insecure about where our relationship would go if I couldn't do the fun things we loved to do anymore.
I was watching the dust motes swirl in the sunlight coming through the window, listening with a heavy heart to his proclamations of love.
I said there were things I wished I could change, and told him my degenerative health was something I think both of us would change if we could. He turned and looked me dead in the eye, and said something I'll never forget.
"The struggles you've experienced with your health might not be the funnest or anything, but they've made you the amazing person you are today."
I thought about how there's no telling who I'd be without these problems.
He lifted my chin so I'd stare him in the eyes.
"Nothing. I wouldn't change a thing."
Has anyone ever made a fleeting comment about you that immediately became tattooed onto the front of your brain for all of eternity, impacting your self-perception and self-worth? Whether it was an offhand comment made by someone you love and respect or a fleeting declaration by someone you barely know, we share the moments that stick.
