Emotions Are Valid

My ex-boyfriend once called me a "cry baby" for being too worried about school, my family, my appearance, etc. 

The next time I cried in front of him was five months later, when I dumped him.
 

"Those shorts are too short."

When I was 9, I was in a Dollar Tree with my mother. She left me alone in the makeup section to browse. Behind me there was a couple in their late 20s. I was minding my own business, when out of nowhere my mother pulled me away and said, "That man was staring at your ass."

This was the very first time that anything like this had ever happened to me, and I thought it was gross. 

However, what got me more upset was when my mom said, "You shouldn't wear shorts that short anymore." 

Victim blaming much, mom? My skin exposure shouldn't be an excuse for anyone to ogle at me. 

To this day, I am sometimes still ashamed to show too much skin, because no matter what I chose to do with my body, I remember that someone will see it as an invite to do what they please.  Whenever I wear shorts, those words ring in my head. 

I will never slut shame my future daughter, and even more importantly, my son will learn how to act politely and respectfully to women.
 

"You're going to be a failure."

One time my mom took my sister and me to the beach, and she dropped us off while she went to look for parking. Once she had found a parking spot, she texted me to meet her and lead her to the spot where we were sitting. Since it was a particularly crowded day, I had some trouble finding the spot where we'd set up. 

It wasn't long before she started exploding at me, calling me retarded for not being able to find where we were sitting. Even after I started crying, she continued to insult me. The worst thing she said was, "You'll never make it in college because you can't even do the simplest of tasks. You're going to be a failure." 

She never once apologized for how she treated me. 

Now that I'm a freshman in college, I suffer from depression and anxiety because of fear of failing or messing up anything I do. 

Dunce Voice

I was never the best at math, and I didn't quite have a loving home environment (I still don't). 

On day, I brought home an "F" from math class. I already felt low about it; who feels good about failing? My parents (predictably) got upset, but what really stuck with me was my father mocking me. He followed me around the house, into my room, saying in a "dunce" voice, "Duuuuhhh. I'm (my name), I'm smart enough to get Fs. Duuuuuuuuhhh." 

I had already been in tears, but that pushed me over. 

Sadly, that wasn't the first time that my father verbally abused me, and it still happens to this day. But that time really stuck, and it still pierces my heart.
 

"It's such a funny image..."

In seventh grade, my four best friends and I were decorating my friend's Christmas tree. At one point we were all keeling on the couch, leaning against the back of it, looking at the tree, while my friend decorated it. 

Then she switched her glance from the tree to us, and laughed and said to me, "It's such a funny image to see everyone with normal butts, and then you with absolutely no butt!"

Everyone laughed, and I did too, but I felt mortified and horrible. I wasn't even aware at that point that I had no butt, or that having no butt was such a funny sight. 

After her comment, I ordered padded underwear off the internet. Now as an adult, I no longer wear the padded underwear, but I am still very much aware of my butt at all times.

"You could do so much better!"

I was sitting in my math class in front of my boyfriend when his friend asked if we were dating. 

My boyfriend said yes, and his friend told him, "You could do so much better!"

I was right there. 
 

Fat Cat

One time in third grade, a girl spat gum on me at recess and said, "No boy will ever like you because you look like a fat cat!"

This has never left me, and I have never liked cats since.
 

"You ain't worth a quarter."

My dad and I get into arguments all the time. He'll get mad at the littlest things and explode. 

His favorite sayings are, "You're worthless" and "You ain't worth a quarter."

Sometimes I start to believe him.
 

"Fat girls don't get boyfriends."

When I was in middle school, my mom told me that I was "a fat girl" and that "fat girls don't have friends, and they certainly don't get boyfriends." 

Small 12 year old me truly took her words to heart and developed a severe case of anorexia due to what she said. I'm now 23, and I have been battling the eating disorder ever since. I also have an intense fear of gaining weight and suffer from extreme depression if I do gain any weight. 
 

"You'll be a starving artist all your life."

I am very insecure about my art.

My mom has always encouraged me to do my best, and I know she would support me no matter what. My dad, on the other hand, is a "realist." 

"Your art style is too anime." 

"You have to draw more realistically." 

"No one would want to buy something like that." 

"You'll be a starving artist all your life." 

I just want to be me. Why did you have to put me down?