"Heck of an arm."

In fourth grade, I attended Carnival Day at school. I tried to dunk one of the teachers in the dunk tank, but I couldn't quite hit the target. When my turn was over, I walked away, and a man came up to me and introduced himself as a local little league coach. He asked me, "Do you know you have a heck of an arm there? Do you play for any team?" I told him no, and he strongly encouraged me to come to tryouts. I told my mom when I got home, but nothing ever came of it. 

Looking back, I'm sure I would have loved playing ball, but it was that compliment that stuck with me. My home was a very angry place to grow up. I never got compliments or encouragement really of any kind. We were either invisible, or in trouble and getting screamed at. I vividly remember just about every compliment I ever received as a child because of the feeling of empowerment it gave me. Those compliments became my identity.

You never know what a person has to deal with in their life. Just be nice, always. Your kind words might be what sticks with someone else.
 

Too Weird For Marriage

Growing up, people told me that I was too weird to ever find a guy who would marry me. I was told that I'd have to find a guy who could "tolerate" me, and that I would have to be the one to propose. 

My art teacher in high school told me that the man I'd wind up marrying would probably be a serial killer.
 

"I'd throw a party the next day."

Last year a guy from school told me to hang myself. I asked him if he'd feel bad if I actually did it, and he said, "No. I'd throw a party the next day."

I told him that if I had been depressed that day and if I were a different person, it would have happened. He said, "It would have been worth it."

People need to be careful about what they say. 
 

"It wouldn't hurt if you lost a little weight."

When I was a freshman in high school, I dated a boy on the football team. I never really cared about my weight or the way I looked until one day he told me, "It wouldn't hurt if you lost a little weight." 

I lost 40lbs that year, and I still struggle with my weight to this day, as a senior in high school. 

My new boyfriend tries to tell me I'm beautiful the way I am. I want to believe him, but I can't ever see myself as beautiful.
 

"It's not your fault."

It was a few days after my 16th birthday, and I had some birthday money. My mom took me to the mall to get some clothes that I needed, and we stopped at a makeup store to get my acne face wash. After seeing how much it was, I decided that I wasn't in dire need, and that I didn't want to spend the remainder of my money on it.

My mom has had an ongoing addiction to narcotics, and I considered this day to be one of her good days. But something in her changed when I said I didn't want to buy the face wash. She grabbed my hand and forced me out of the store, yelling at me and telling me how ungrateful I was. I told her I wasn't being ungrateful, and she hit me hard in front of everyone. I was left alone, a crumpled mess of embarrassment, while she stormed off.

She yelled that she was going to get the car, so I waited. It took her over a half an hour, so I thought she forgot about me. It turned out, she was so mad and messed up from the narcotics that she ran her car into someone else's car. When I got in the car, she told me that it was my fault that she was so mad and that she hit someone's car.

I called my dad, broken. I didn't know what to say. 

The one thing I will never forget is my dad telling me, "It's not your fault. It was never your fault." 

And to this day, I still believe him. It's never your fault.
 

"Those shorts are too short."

When I was 9, I was in a Dollar Tree with my mother. She left me alone in the makeup section to browse. Behind me there was a couple in their late 20s. I was minding my own business, when out of nowhere my mother pulled me away and said, "That man was staring at your ass."

This was the very first time that anything like this had ever happened to me, and I thought it was gross. 

However, what got me more upset was when my mom said, "You shouldn't wear shorts that short anymore." 

Victim blaming much, mom? My skin exposure shouldn't be an excuse for anyone to ogle at me. 

To this day, I am sometimes still ashamed to show too much skin, because no matter what I chose to do with my body, I remember that someone will see it as an invite to do what they please.  Whenever I wear shorts, those words ring in my head. 

I will never slut shame my future daughter, and even more importantly, my son will learn how to act politely and respectfully to women.
 

Class Party

I didn't take French class, but I used to talk to the French teacher at my school because we both were French. When couple of kids told me that the teacher invited me to a French class party before winter break, I followed them to the classroom and began grabbing food from the buffet.

I went up to thank the teacher for inviting me to the party, but she just gave me one of the dirtiest looks ever and said, "Take your plate and leave the classroom."
 
It turns out she never invited me, and that a bunch of kids decided to pull a prank on me. I never talked to the teacher again.

And that's what stuck with me, even 12 years later.
 

Dunce Voice

I was never the best at math, and I didn't quite have a loving home environment (I still don't). 

On day, I brought home an "F" from math class. I already felt low about it; who feels good about failing? My parents (predictably) got upset, but what really stuck with me was my father mocking me. He followed me around the house, into my room, saying in a "dunce" voice, "Duuuuhhh. I'm (my name), I'm smart enough to get Fs. Duuuuuuuuhhh." 

I had already been in tears, but that pushed me over. 

Sadly, that wasn't the first time that my father verbally abused me, and it still happens to this day. But that time really stuck, and it still pierces my heart.
 

"It's such a funny image..."

In seventh grade, my four best friends and I were decorating my friend's Christmas tree. At one point we were all keeling on the couch, leaning against the back of it, looking at the tree, while my friend decorated it. 

Then she switched her glance from the tree to us, and laughed and said to me, "It's such a funny image to see everyone with normal butts, and then you with absolutely no butt!"

Everyone laughed, and I did too, but I felt mortified and horrible. I wasn't even aware at that point that I had no butt, or that having no butt was such a funny sight. 

After her comment, I ordered padded underwear off the internet. Now as an adult, I no longer wear the padded underwear, but I am still very much aware of my butt at all times.

Fat Cat

One time in third grade, a girl spat gum on me at recess and said, "No boy will ever like you because you look like a fat cat!"

This has never left me, and I have never liked cats since.